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Mockingston Faire by Samuel Yaw Jian Fong Three friends — Victoria Hughes, Jack Zhang, and Ludvig Gerald — attend Mockingston Faire, an annual convention where fans meet their friends and favourite characters, buy and sell art, play games, and have a good time. Victoria wants to see Gunfighter III, her anticipated game, and reconcile with Ludvig over what she did last year; Jack wants to get as many pictures of his dearest characters and personalities; and Ludvig just wants to keep away from annoying fans and events who constantly forced him to become an amateur actor. But the Faire itself has its own challenges. Everywhere they go, they seem to be unable to evade the malcontents of pop culture. From violent brawls between bitter fandoms, to nuisances who hound their every step, the whole Faire seems to descend into chaos. Can these three make it through this dysfunctional festival with their friends in one piece? Or will they succumb to the surrounding rage, losing their sanity and reputation in the process? |
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Orconomics (The Dark Profit Saga #1) by J. Zachary Pike Brimming with swords, sorcery, and wit, Orconomics: A Satire introduces Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. For the licensed wizards and warriors of Arth, slaying and looting the forces of evil is just a job. The Heroes' Guild has turned adventuring into a career, selling the rights to monsters’ hoards of treasure as investment opportunities. Corporations spend immense sums sponsoring heroes to undertake quests, betting they’ll reap the profits in plunder funds when the loot is divvied up. Questing was all business for famous Dwarven berserker Gorm Ingerson, until a botched expedition wiped out his party, disgraced his name, and reduced him to a thieving vagabond. Twenty years later, a chance encounter sees Gorm forcibly recruited by a priest of a mad goddess to undertake a quest that has a reputation for getting heroes killed. But there’s more to Gorm’s new job than an insane prophecy; powerful corporations and governments have shown an unusual interest in the job. Gorm might be able to turn a bad deal into a golden opportunity and win back the fame and fortune he lost so long ago. Promising fun, fantasy, and financial calamity, Orconomics: A Satire is the first book in The Dark Profit Saga, an economically epic trilogy. Winner of the 4th Self Published Fantasy Blog Off -- (SPFBO 2018) |
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The Origin of Birds in the Footprints of Writing by Raymond St. Elmo Clarence St. Claire is a programmer who cherishes an orderly life. His motto: ‘work is important; people, not so much’. His determination to be The Most Serious Person on the Planet is threatened when he becomes haunted by a mysterious manuscript from his past: 300 pages of possibly random bird tracks. Risking his career and self-possession, St. Claire dares to pursue the manuscript against the opposition of hackers, the NSA, the ghosts of famous writers and doubts of his own sanity. Lost in a maze of bird-prints and their possible meanings, St. Claire determines to summon the late writer Jorge Louis Borges to help with the translation. He will dream Borges into existence, exactly as Borges wrote of doing. But this act stirs the opposition of a secret order of past writers, who may, possibly, have their own agenda. The duel between St. Claire’s reality and theirs leads to a final encounter in The Dark Library, before the dread conclave known as The Tribunal of Dreams. ‘Origins’ is a book about books, about magic realism and artificial intelligence, virtual reality and languages, and how sensible people wind up in strange situations by strangely sensible steps. It is built of the words books whisper to each other alone after the library has closed. It ends as it must: with the hero tossed into a pit by Edgar Alan Poe. Kidding. I mean, that last does happen but the final ending is the hero finding the answer and getting the girl, as well as his sanity back. Mostly back. |
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Mid-Lich Crisis by Steve Thomas Is trying to sacrifice your estranged wife to a bloodthirsty demon an irredeemable act of evil? This is the sort of question the Dread Wizard Darruk Darkbringer struggles with. After being called evil one too many times, Darruk sets off to find a new purpose in his life and become a beloved celebrity. Can a dark wizard come to terms with himself and prove to the world that a few atrocities don’t define who he is? You’ll feel guilty for laughing at his twisted tale of self-discovery. |
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The Hammer Of The Gods: So You Want To Be A Star (The Druid Trilogy #1) by Andrew Marc Rowe It’s Hammer Time! Pitted against a perverse pantheon of warring deities, Gudleik Sigbjornsson and Rosmerta O’Ceallaigh are two dreamers living worlds apart, hoping to create a better life for themselves by following their dreams. It won’t be easy: Gudleik’s soul is the battleground between two gods of Asgard. And Rosmerta is supposed to do as her parents have done: offer her life to the service of an ancient Celtic fertility god. But the gods are only half of it… the biggest foes the two will face are to be found within their own minds. Can Gudleik overcome the ugly blessing of a trickster god and prevent Ragnarok? Will Rosmerta find the courage to forge a new path? Will there be a whole load of dirty jokes and comments on the human condition? Yes, yes, there will be… to that one, the third question. Also, check dis out: there is a bunch about Merlyn and King Arthur of Camelot, a Goblin King, an ancient fell jellyfish god, encroaching Christian zealots, characters whose proclivities are too crude to mention here, because, well, gotta make the advertising copy pop, you know? An epic fantasy comedy as blue as the cover art, get your copy of The Hammer Of The Gods today! |
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Few Are Chosen (K'Barthan #1) by M.T. McGuire Charming outlaw with own transport and limited social skills seeks lucrative, employment at minimal risk. When you're running from a murderous government and work for an equally murderous gangster, accidentally torching his apartment is a bad move. The Pan of Hamgee just wants a quiet life but destiny has other plans. |
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Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire by G.M. Nair Michael Duckett is fed up with his life. His job is a drag, and his roommate and best friend of fifteen years, Stephanie Dyer, is only making him more anxious with her lazy irresponsibility. Things continue to escalate when they face the threat of imminent eviction from their palatial 5th floor walk-up and find that someone has been plastering ads all over the city for their Detective Agency. The only problem is: He and Stephanie don’t have one of those. Despite their baffling levels of incompetence, Stephanie eagerly pursues this crazy scheme and drags Michael, kicking and screaming, into the fray only to find that they are way out of their depth. They stumble upon a web of missing people that are curiously linked to a sexually audacious theoretical physicist and his experiments with the fabric of space-time. And unless Michael and Stephanie can put their personal issues aside and fix the multi-verse, the concept of existence itself may, ironically, no longer exist. |
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The One-Hundred Percent Solution by G.M. Nair The Future Group is the city’s biggest and most lucrative company even though no one really knows what it is they do. Michael Duckett has worked there for four years and he still has no clue. All he knows is that he hates his meaningless job and all the people in it. But it pays the bills. Bills that have been stacking up since his roommate and best friend Stephanie Dyer decided to open a detective agency – despite her chronic inability to commit to anything. When Michael is suddenly fired, he and Stephanie are forced to return to the world of private investigation against his better judgment. A mysterious woman wants to enlist the services of Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire to track down an assassin who has a bone to pick with Michael’s former employer. Apparently, The Future Group has been harboring a deadly secret for decades. One that could put the world in the grip of an indescribable horror. It turns out Michael was lucky to get out of that job alive. Too bad he and Stephanie are being dragged back to work. |
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The Bear Cavalry: The True (Not!) History of the Icelandic Bears by D.G. Valdron A quirky, inventive alternate history written in the style of a fun, funky, pop culture television documentary, The Bear Cavalry, features host, Robin Prufrock, as he travels the world, telling the story of how the Vikings in Iceland domesticated bears for meat and as draft animals, and how the Scandinavian Bear Cavalry eventually evolved to become the most fearsome fighting unit in the Medieval world, along the way are entertaining detours into biology, evolutionary history, the Viking era, Medieval monarchs behaving badly, and the role of Bears in movies, art and culture in this world. BONUS STORY: The Sharebear Apocalypse, they're cute, they're cuddly, all they want to do is hug you, and they may be the end of civilisation. |
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Another Dead Intern by Joel Spriggs A typical internship: coffee & copies. Morgan Burns's new internship with PI Hemlock Connal: fairies, magic, drugs, & dying. Hemlock Connal can't keep interns alive. Morgan Burns is trying to break that trend, but finds survival to be an uphill battle. Faced with mobsters, drug rings, covens, and even fantastical beasts, will Morgan find a paycheck... or a grave? Another Dead Intern is the first book in a humorous supernatural mystery series! If you like edge-of-your-seat action, witty dialogue, and paranormal investigations, then you'll love the first installment in Joel Spriggs's hilarious magical thrill ride. |
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Flames Over Frosthelm (Inquisitors' Guild Book 1) by Dave Dobson An Investigation Gone Awry Sometimes, your case takes a left turn. Or three or four. Marten Mingenstern and Boog Eggstrom are provisional inspectors, fresh out of Inquisitor’s Guild training and eager to prove themselves. Assigned the mundane task of tracking down stolen jewels, they instead uncover a mysterious cult set on destroying the city. After a thief explodes, they earn the enmity of a vicious noble, the Chief Inquisitor gets bought off and goes rogue, they are seized by barbarians, and they are sentenced to death at least a couple of times. In a final, frantic race with prophecy, they face ruthless fanatics, a city turned against them, and terrible forces long buried. Flames Over Frosthelm is the first novel about the Inquisitor's Guild, the investigative arm of the government of Frosthelm, a medieval city-state where criminals thrive, nobles scheme, and dark secrets lurk. Expect intrigue, mystery, swordplay, adventure, politics, romance, and the strong bonds of friendship. And a little magic along the way. Described as Princess Bride meets CSI, this new novel is a tale of classic adventure with a healthy dose of humor. If the description above was too much, you might prefer this TLDR Summary Haiku Young inspectors flail Against a rising darkness. Fighting, jokes, and more. |
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Harpyness is Only Skin Deep by D. H. Willison On a world where death lurks around every corner, is friendship the strongest survival tool of all? Darin: bored with his paper pusher existence, he accepts a questionable deal for the LARP adventure of a lifetime. A jump through a dimensional portal strands him on the mythical world of Arvia, where everything is gigantic. Except the life-expectancy of newcomers. Rinloh: a mere ten meters tall. Life in the harpy flock has never been easy for her. Determined to become full-fledged at the upcoming human-hunt, nothing is going to stand–or fly–in her way. A chance encounter between these two–what could possibly go wrong? Humans consider consorting with a harpy a capital offense. Harpies consider the human citizens a tasty part of a balanced diet. Yet the two must overcome a most monstrous conspiracy as the citizens of the city begin disappearing, with a list of suspects as big as the inhabitants of Arvia. Harpyness is Only Skin Deep blends endearing characters and whimsical fantasy adventure in a uniquely witty, charming style. Contact your neighborhood dimension broker, or download Harpyness, and jump into the world of Arvia today. |
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The Day The Sun Changed Colors by Scott Talbot Evans Welcome to the future, to the year 4377, a perfect utopia where everyone is rich and lives in peace. Litterbot409 is a cleaning robot working for a family of seven. His garbage can body is able to transform into any tool to handle any mess, but there are none in a world with spill-proof containers. This society doesn't have sexism, guns, money, names, or unanswered questions, and life is pretty boring, until Litterbot discovers a strange glow in the sky, which changes colors throughout the day, amazing the world. Troll, the world's leading hydrologist/interior decorator, discovers the cause: the Sun is getting hotter, and water is evaporating into space and going to run out in 103 days! The world prepares for mass evacuation. Tension builds when acts of aggression start to break out, something that hasn't happened in a long time. The family (two mothers, three fathers, and two kids) constructs a ship, as the sky colors intensify, tinting everything, and affecting everyone's minds. They must overcome agitation during periods of red, sedation in times of green, and irritability when it's blue, to finish in time. But ever-increasing radiation interferes with their equipment, and eventually causes them to mutate, which helps them work faster, but crashes world-computer, forcing them to search for paper books. As if that weren't enough, the moon grows bigger and bigger, and orbits faster and faster, until cataclysmic gravity, winds, and PMS strand them in a solar powered ship with no light. |
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Always Greener by J.R.H. Lawless A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world’s worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they’ve got it. |
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A pandemic where women over 50 survive? Antigenesis is a action packed political thriller and farce inspired by today's headlines with themes centered on revenge at all costs, female empowerment, and declining world health. An extremely contagious and deadly outbreak begins in the Arctic Circle, where thousands of Russian soldiers perish. Russia and China threaten retaliation assuming the virus is a US bioweapon. As the White House, Pentagon and National Security Agency try to understand the ramifications of the situation in Russia, they bring in a consultant, Ally, a former CDC virus hunter. Ally works with an NSA spy to track down the origin of the virus and halt the spread. She discovers that the virus is transmitted by dogs and, remarkably, women over 50 seem to have immunity. When the casualty rate begins to decimate American cities, the President, both clueless and inept, refuses to institute a national quarantine. His Vice President tries to keep the government running but quickly descends into madness. As society and government collapses, the surviving female congress members decide to overcome the pesky quorum problem by re-writing the Constitution. Will Ally find the source of the virus and stop it in time to save humanity? What will happen when the world is run by women? |
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Planet of the Creeps by D.S. Whitaker A twisted Cinderella story set in modern day NYC about blind dating, deceit, and the struggle to find true love. Cindy has been looking for love through Smitten, an online dating app, only to encounter one creep after another. She has a happy life living in NYC with her gay roommate, Barry, but she feels he’s putting his own love life on hold for her sake. Then her baby sister gets engaged. She decides it’s time to try again to find her own true love. The CEO of Smitten, Lance, is facing declining subscribership and the Board wants his ouster. Lance truly believes women can’t find matches because they’re too picky. As a last-ditch effort, he develops a marketing scheme involving a contest for female users. A few lucky women will go on a series of blind dates for a hefty sum, in the hopes of improving Smitten’s matching algorithm. He decides to pose as a waiter at the restaurant hosting the experiment to find out the truth and validate his position. Cindy accepts the invitation to participate. Lance is a terrible waiter and the patrons treat him horribly. But Cindy becomes his beacon of happiness as the contest progresses. She treats him like a person and not a servant. He watches how she maintains a positive attitude despite several hilariously awful blind dates with the creepiest men. Soon, Lance starts to fall for her—hard. Only, she doesn’t know his true identity. Can Lance win Cindy’s love? Or will he turn out to be the worst creep of them all? |