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Liches Get Stitches by HJ Tolson Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs. Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbours of the realm. Now instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare. Featuring people mulch, head bouquets, revenant geese, and some very deadly embroidery, undead paradise never looked so good. A very grisly slice-of-life progression fantasy. Trigger warning for gore and violence. |
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The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic by Kian N. Ardalan George is a legendary hero...wait, no. George is an incredibly powerful sorcerer...also no? Okay, fine. George is an unremarkable human bard who made a promise a long time ago. A promise that set him on a path to find the remains of Simantiar, the greatest wizard who ever lived. Though all that was left were bones, Simantiar was still very much alive and quite...underwhelming. This is their story: The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a dead wizard and an average bard. |
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Little Drummer Boy: A Darkly Humorous Paranormal Holiday Short (Hemlock Connal Book 2) by Joel Spriggs A darkly humorous paranormal Christmas short! Bostonās strangest private investigator, Hemlock Connal, is back! Along with her longest surviving intern, Morgan Burns. When a demonic drummer boy walks down their road leading a small team of zombies, the detective duo take a much needed break from a boring financial case. As they follow the horned drummer from Boston to the middle of nowhere, they find the zombie squad has more secrets than just marching through the night. Hemlock and Morgan get led through a dark journey of black market organ theft, drug sorting undead, all leading up to meeting the big man himself. Confronted with the ultimate arbiter of the holiday season, will Hemlock and Morgan survive the test of naughty or nice? Find out, in Little Drummer Boy! |
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Over a God's Dead Body: A Supernatural Comedy (Wrong Gods Book 1) by Joel Spriggs "It's an offbeat comedy in the vein of American Gods" In the same style of humor as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, you'll find the Norse gods and characters hilarious. If you are looking for a humorous adult version of the Magnus Chase series, you'll be laughing at how Esmy and Jake deal with Loki. Esmy is frustrated by a lack of pockets on women's pants. Living with her librarian brother Jake in a small Indiana town and working at a private college, Esmy feels like she is is stuck in a rut. Meeting Loki ignites their lives like a powder-keg. This simple, seemingly innocuous encounter leads Esmy and Jake to discover the campus's mysterious depths, involving sasquatches, vampires, and much more with the supernatural, magical and paranormal. In a crudely comedic high-stakes game of maneuvering, Loki's freedom and Esmy's survival come down to a fight over a God's dead body. Will Esmy become a reluctant hero? Is Jake a lucky novice necromancer? Will Loki actually become a half-decent mentor? If you like insane action, hilarious dialogue, and gods behaving badly, then you'll love the first installment in Joel Spriggs's series of magical realism and whimsical mythology. |
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The Woeling Lass by Dave Dobson An assassin hunts Inspector Gueran Declais through the streets of Frosthelm, and she is not acting alone. Just as he learns that his family may have been attacked and slain, Gueran is struck down as well. Despite the odds, he lives. Barely. Whisked away from the city for his safety, he struggles to recover from his injuries, learn his family's fate, and uncover the identity of those who want him dead. Far from Frosthelm, he becomes caught up in investigating another bloody attack, one that may or may not have been perpetrated by vengeful spirit of a woman wronged long ago, and one that threatens to expose him to his enemies. The locals are certain, though: the killer had to be the Woeling Lass, her hands cold as the grave and her feet aflame. Back in Frosthelm, Urret Milton is an apprentice in some difficulty at the Guild. She receives a mysterious note for Gueran, a man everyone thinks is dead. Rapidly embroiled in the effort to unravel the reason for the killings and bring the assassins to justice, Urret struggles to shed her troubles and show that she has what it takes to be an inspector. But all this leads her into far more peril than she bargained for, for which she can't possibly be ready. Her position at the Guild, the security of the city, and her life itself are all at stake. This tale from the Inquisitors' Guild of Frosthelm is a fresh mystery full of swordplay, deceit, ancient magic, scheming nobles, and a healthy dose of humor. Combining the clues and hidden mysteries of detective stories with all the grand adventure of epic fantasy, The Woeling Lass is a wondrous journey through betrayal, murder, ancient legend, loss, courage, and redemption. And, it has really silly chapter titles. |
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We all have bad days. Ever have one so bad that it changes your entire life? A day so bad that talking cats, magical inquisitors, and werewolves now seem normal? For Thomas Khatt that day was today. From one moment jobless to the next being awakened into a brand new form. Now he has a murder to help solve, a girlfriend to help with family problems and a boss that is just a bit more than your normal hothead. What would you do in his paws? |
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All Things Huge And Hideous by G. Scott Huggins "Hilarious! Veterinary horror like Terry Pratchett would write!" -- D.J. Butler, author of WITCHY EYE "A rollicking adventure that hits all the right notes." --Christopher Ruocchio, Award-Winning Author of The Sun Eater Series Everyone says it was better in the Good Old Days. Before the Dark Lord subjugated us. Before he gave all the good land to his ogres, orcs and trolls, reducing the civilized races to serfdom and the dirty work: pig farming, sewer cleaning, veterinary medicine. But even before that happened, things weren't that much different for the veterinarians. Everyone cheered the heroes who rode their unicorn chargers into combat against the Dark Lord's dragons, but no one ever remembered who treated the unicornsā phosphine burns afterward. The only real difference is that now I'm treating the dragons. Today I have to save one's life. Know what fewmets are? No? Then make a sacrifice of thanks right now to whatever gods you worship, because I have only a few hours to figure a way to get them flowing back out of the Dark Lordās favorite dragon. Yeah, from the other end. And thatās just my most illustrious client. Iāve got orcs and trolls who might eat me and dark elf barons who might sue me if their bloodhawks and chimeras donāt pull through. And that doesnāt even consider the possibility that the old hag with the basilisk might show up. The only thing thatās gone right this evening is finding Harriet to be my veterinary assistant. Sheās almost a witch, which just might save us both. If we donāt kill each other first. |
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Far Far Beyond Berlin by Craig Meighan Not everything goes to plan at the first attemptā¦ In Da Vinciās downstairs loo hung his first, borderline insulting, versions of the Mona Lisa. Michelangeloās back garden was chock-a-block full of ugly lumps of misshapen marble. Even Einstein committed a great āblunderā in his first go at General Relativity. God is no different, this universe may be his masterpiece, but there were many failed versions before it ā and theyāre still out there. Far Far Beyond Berlin is a fantasy novel, which tells the story of a lonely, disillusioned government workerās adventures after being stranded in a faraway universe ā Joy World: Godās first, disastrous attempt at creation. Godās previous universes, a chain of 6 now-abandoned worlds, are linked by a series of portals. Our jaded hero must travel back through them, past the remaining dangers and bizarre stragglers. Heāll join forces with a jolly, eccentric and visually arresting, crew of sailors on a mysteriously flooded world. Heāll battle killer robots and play parlour games against a clingy supercomputer, with his life hanging in the balance. Heāll become a teleportation connoisseur; he will argue with a virtual goose ā it sure beats photocopying. Meanwhile, high above in the heavens, an increasingly flustered God tries to manage the situation with His best friend Satan; His less famous son, Jeff; and His ludicrously angry angel of death, a creature named Fate. They know that a human loose in the portal network is a calamity that could have apocalyptic consequences in seven different universes. Fate is dispatched to find and kill the poor man before the whole place goes up in a puff of smoke; if he can just control his temperā¦ |
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NACL: Eye of the Storm by Allegra Pescatore & E. Sands Lani should never have trusted any plan that started with the words, "So, I have an idea, but first you need a drink." When a crazy Precog handed Lani the coordinates to a stretch of ocean just off the Salt Spire, she should have thrown them overboard. Going there would be a horrible idea. Lani, though, was a pro at making bad decisions. A not-so-chance encounter with escaped salt slave Adavera launches them on a path to forsake all that they know and dare to take on the cruel Corporation that controls every grain of salt on their planet. With the help of old friends, new friends, and people they are pretty sure might be enemies, Adavera and Lani travel outside the protective reef that keeps the worst of the Storms off the Islands and venture into a world of piracy, astonishing powers, and unexpected love. The odds might be against them, but with a little planning and a lot of brass, this team of misfits intends to do the impossible. They have very little in common, except for two things: They all want to blow the Crystal Corporation into oblivion... And are willing to sacrifice anything to see it done. NACL: Eye of the Storm is a high-octane, non-stop, foul mouthed and steamy roller-coaster of a novel. Grab your favorite bottle of rum and revolutionary spirit, and jump into the ride of a lifetime. |
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The Only Wizard in Town by Heide Goody and Iain Grant A city under siege by a barbarian hordeā¦ A band of ruthless mercenariesā¦ A trap-filled dungeonā¦ A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town. What theyāve got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist. More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chewā¦ |
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Shift Happens by T.M. Baumgartner Everyone has an alternate form. Lucky people never shift into it. For everyone else, thereās the Magical Probation Department. MPD Officer Angela Jones has spent her entire career helping shifters get back into their human forms and ensuring they can manage their magical powers. Her methods are a little unconventional, but sheās built a strong community of people who help each other. A far cry from her coworkers who would rather emulate the tough guy hero of āShift Enforcers,ā protecting the world from shifters at any cost and grabbing all the glory along the way. Angela has mostly resigned herself to never being promoted again. But a new source of magic downtown is causing havoc. She canāt convince her boss to look into itā¦until a fire-breathing dragon appears. Now Angela is being shut out of the case of a lifetime, and the city she protects is in danger of being destroyed. When shift happens, Angela must step upā¦even if it means risking her own life to safeguard others. |
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The ALL - GOD OF NOTHING by Shane Scott What if God and the Devil had a daughter? Who would she be? Rated MA and 18+ due to sexual situations, including LGBTQ+, vulgar language, some violence, smoking, drugs, and also mentions rape. The ALL series chronicles four generations of the most powerful Immortal family in Godās creation. The Promethean saga spans uncountable years and dozens of worlds. Mortals, Gods, Devils, Dragons, Titans, Demons, Werewolves, Vampires, and Angels clash in a never-ending battle of love and hate. The first book in the ALL, God of Nothing, starts the epic adventure. Murdered at seventeen by the Titan, Silver, God of Death, Aja Ashe wakes with her Dragon. Thrust into a bizarre world where her enemies are friends, and friends are enemies, she learns the truth about her parents and herself. Her mother is God, and her father is the Devil. She was the first thing born, not created. Enraged that Aja survived, Silver, God of Death, forces her to make choices to protect those she loves. Will Aja save the ALL or destroy it? If she survives, will she hate herself for what sheās done? |
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Zombie Walkabout by Phillip Murrell Thrill rides? Safari? A cruise? Why waste your time (and money) when the best way to spend your holiday is at ZOMBIE WALKABOUT! Our staff has packages available for whatever your desire. Planning a memorable bucks party? Check. Want to pray for the souls of the victims? Check. Looking to retrieve medical samples for all the innovative research in zombie medicine? We have a lab on our premises! We can even set you up with a trip to visit the Aboriginal Australian tribes living among the dead. But zombie hunting sounds dangerous! No worries. Our state-of-the-art armor combination is scientifically proven to keep you one hundred percent protected. Here at Zombie Walkabout, we pride ourselves on our flawless safety record. The only concern you'll have is how all subsequent holidays will never live up to this one! So hurry up and commit, mate. Book this summer to meet American mix martial artist Sam "Pounder" Ponsness. This rising star will augment our staff for the season. Zombie Walkabout. Where the dead give you a reason for living! |
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Psycho Hose Beast From Outer Space by C.D. Gallant-King SPFBO7 SPSFC SPSFC 2022 SPSFC 2023 Newfoundland, Canada, 1992. Gale Harbour hasnāt seen any excitement since the military abandoned the base there thirty years ago, unless you count the Tuesday night 2-for-1 video rentals at Jerry's Video Shack. So when a dead body turns up floating in the town water supply, all evidence seems to point to a boring accident. Niall, Pius and Harper are dealing with pre-teen awkwardness in the last days of summer before the start of high school. The same night the body is found, the three of them witness unusual lights in the sky over the bay. Is it a coincidence? Are the lights connected to the rapidly-increasing string of mysterious deaths? And what does the creepy old lady at the nursing home have to do with it? There is an evil older than time hidden deep beneath the waters of the North Atlantic. It is hungry, and vengeful, and it has its sights set on Gale Harbour to begin its path of destruction. All that stands in its way are a group of kids who would rather be playing Street Fighter II... |
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Waking the Witch by W. V. Fitz-Simon She never wanted to be a witch, but when sorcerers threaten her loved ones, what else should the 20th century woman do? Slip on her favorite Siouxsie Sioux t-shirt, touch up her makeup, and bring down the house. Literally. To Gosha Armitage, magic is a four-letter word, but in her mother's world of witchcraft, words have power, power Gosha will sacrifice everything to acquire. When a murderous sorcerer masquerading as a New Age guru conspires to consume the life force of her best friend, the reluctant witch has no choice but to embrace her heritage, submit to her mother's caustic authority, and descend into a clandestine world of magic and intrigue with only her wits, five spells, and her favorite lipstick to help her. After a lifetime denying her connection to witchcraft, will Gosha learn to trust her mother's training in time to save her friend? Waking the Witch is the first installment in The Witch of Cheyne Heath supernatural mystery series from author W. V. Fitz-Simon. If you like Absolutely Fabulous, Terry Pratchett's Witches of Lancre, and complex mother-daughter relationships, you'll love this arch and cozy spellpunk adventure. Buy Waking the Witch and step into the glamorous, enigmatic, dangerous world of Cheyne Heath today! |
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This Quest is Bullshit! by JP Valentine The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection. Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the Legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread. Wouldnāt that be ridiculous? Eve canāt even begin to guess how or why sheās come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level 1 Messenger Girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as Legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that gods-damned bread. There just might be a few Side Quests along the way. |This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.| |
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A Cat's Guide to Bonding with Dragons by Chris Behrsin The unlikely duo who might just save the world Ben must be the hungriest cat everā¦ One moment, he was enjoying a breakfast of salmon trimmings in his home in South Wales. The next, he was teleported across time and space onto the cold stone floor of an evil warlock. Locked in the warlockās tower through day and night, Ben may have to serve him for a while. He'll hate this, especially having to hunt those infernal demon rats when the warlock doesnāt feed him well at all. Meanwhile, in a distant academy, a dragon is bored out of her mind. Unable to wear a saddle, no human dares mount her. Is there anyone in this land who can ride her into battle against the forces of the evil warlocks? Somehow, she doubts sheāll ever find a suitable bond. Unless there is another creature with enough dexterity to fulfil that role. One, perhaps, who is currently sprinting right out of a warlockās front doorā¦ |
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The Conjuring of Zoth Averex by K.R.R. Lockhaven Kept hidden by the United States government for decades, the Site is a place where magic is real. But that doesn't mean that everything happening there is sparkly. Soul-sucking policies and layers of stifling bureaucracy threaten to take all the fun out of magic. Harris, a newbie Conjurer, starts his first day of work at the Site bursting with excitement: he's been brought on for an extremely big project happening the very next day. In a triumph over its habitual inefficiency, the Site manages to carry out its plan and conjure an actual dragon to be used by the military. The dragon (Zoth-Avarex, the self-proclaimed greatest dragon in the multiverse) immediately eats the person next to him, snatches a "princess" from the ranks of the Conjuring Department, and flies away to the Space Needle. There he manipulates the media, outwits the Site's bumbling management, demands sixty-three billion dollars' worth of treasure (because Smaug was said to have had sixty-two billion in his hoard), threatens to destroy the city--and installs a couple of food trucks. While this book skewers the same fantasy genre it gleefully inhabits, it also pokes fun at corporate culture, today's obsession with wealth and celebrity, and our denial that life is anything more than meets the eye. Hapless Harris, believing in magic all along, learns to apply what he's picked up between the pages of fantasy literature. |
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This Merry Hell by Edward Hargreaves This comedy adventure tells of a man who finds himself unexpectedly lifeless and arguing with his killer. Rather suddenly locked in a barren underworld, confused and confronted by his new surroundings, Jason goes in search of answers. Without the constraints of society, or a body, he finds himself freshly motivated. Their living hell has given him a confidence stolen in life and drives a need to learn why he was condemned. Regardless of all the adventure, sin and consequence, Jason forever upholds his sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to death, torment and the afterlife. In a space beyond time, where every soul is forced to face themselves and their blunt existence, craving purpose, love and companionship, Jason and his guide explore their very own empty otherworld seeking some escape from their inevitable journey. In this dark realm Jason gathers a motley crew to explore, to live and to meet fate head-on. Throughout their grand tour of the sights and sounds of the netherworld, Jasonās dialogue driven approach to the souls around him finds psychopaths and saints alike. Ultimately, the trek through this hell sees friend and foe flock in a search for meaning, power and the devil himself. This Merry Hell is a book with some hellarious consequences and its own literal plot hole. It is fun, frivolous and philosophic in equal measure! |
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The Great MacGuffin by Rachel Ford A fully immersive virtual reality system. A beta testing opportunity thatās the stuff of dreams ā or a nightmare that may never end. Jack Owens has logged tens of thousands of hours on Marshfield Studio games. So heās not surprised when the company hires him to be one of their first beta testers for the newly developed Dagger of Doom series. Jack doesnāt think twice when the techs strap him into a VR apparatus and transfer his consciousness to the new world. Heās got a return switch. He can come back any time. Except, he canāt. A bug in the software has trapped him. And the only way out is to finish the game. Step one? Find the great MacGuffin. Step two? Get the h*ll out of here. |
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Unstoppable Shadow by Alex Mead Friendless orphan from the slums of Talon, Scab is no ordinary boy. So everyone keeps telling him. Heās pretty sure āthe Slowā doesnāt happen to anyone else, but he darenāt ask, in fear of the next beating. Taken from the city, Scab finds himself closer than ever to having a bed of his own, but it comes at a price. A painful one. Veteran assassin, Silas is ready for a normal life with a family. Something the Shadows would never allow. Not helping matters, the strange, grey-eyed boy from the slums gives him glimpses of how life might be with a son. Offering Scab the opportunity to follow the same violent path as his own, Silas finds himself bound tighter to the Shadows. With his future entwined with the boyās, heās beginning to wonder if death may be the only way out. |
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War God Rising by Tim Marquitz Monty Python meets Gladiator! Sand is destined for greatness. Or so a pair of two-bit criminals would have him believe. After rescuing him from certain doom, Bess and Kaede embark on a scheme to game the War God Tournament. Itād be easier if Sand wasnāt an alcohol-soaked twit with a disturbing interest in mutton. Pitted against monsters, magic swords, and murderers galore, they soon realize winning the tourney is the least of their worries. |
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A Handful of Souls by Stephen Rice Book One from The Split Sea Mud, gold and lies. Thatās all you get in Branera. Youāll find no better expert on these things than Lily Kale-Tollworth. Yet she has no clue of the events already in motion around her. WEEKS AGO, a murderer with a bleeding grin was released from the Mountain Head. Lily doesnāt know this pale-skinned giant has been writing to her. She doesnāt even know heās coming to find her. But as her father, Husker Tollworth feels like itās his right. DAYS AGO, a tax patrol was slaughtered. Lily doesnāt know her brotherās corpse was pulled from a ditch, stolen by a man who can raise the dead. Lark Kale-Tollworth will follow this bizarre scholar to the Southlands. He will forget how many times heās died. HOURS AGO, an informant showed Lilyās stepfather an incriminating note. Branera has taxed its villages too hard. An uprising is massing in the Northlands ā and they have a noose with Josef Kaleās name on it. At this very moment, Josef is frantically packing their coach, while Lily is drinking whisky in a brothel. Sheās met the arrogant idiot who will be their guide south. She doesnāt know he has a hollow soul, filled with thousands of spirits. She doesnāt know his mouth is filled with as many lies. But if there are three things Lilyās good at, itās mud, gold and lies. ~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~ Bringing a bright, messy twist to the gritty fantasy genre, fans of Scott Lynch and Terry Pratchett will feel right at home with A HANDFUL OF SOULS, the first of the Split Sea Novels. |
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Double-Crossing the Bridge by Sarah J Sover āSoverās ability to gross out readers is nothing short of gleefulā¦Comedy-fantasy fans with strong stomachs will enjoy this book.ā ā Kirkus Reviews Rent in New Metta is through the cavern ceiling. When Granu barely survives her first gig teaching students who attempt to fillet her for lunch, the baby-eating troll ends up unemployed and facing eviction. Granu's only prospect for income is grueling work in the tar pits. That is, until her playboy best friend devises a perfect, if suicidal, schemeāa heist! The Covered Bridge, the largest source of income for the city, has New Metta well under hoof. In a week, TCB Corporation pulls in enough cash to buy a small country. It's the ideal target, but security is top-notch. Granu needs three things to survive this heist: a crew of specialists, impenetrable sun protection, and gallons of grog. Thereās just one thing Granu doesnāt plan forāthose damn meddling billy goats. |
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Damned Souls and a Sangria (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 8) by Annette Marie Once upon a time, I was your average spunky redhead with the lamest employment history ever, a shaky relationship with my only family member, and no idea what I was doing with my life. Now, I'm a pseudo mythic with the best bartending job in the world, the most amazing (and hot) best friends I never knew I needed, and a guild of misfit magic-users who've become my extended family. And I'm about to lose it all. In my desperation to save Ezra, I stumbled into a web of ruthless deception--and seriously pissed off a sleeping hydra. Now its every murderous head is turned toward me and my guild, and I don't know how to stop it. I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure anyone can. But if I don't, we're all doomed--Ezra, Aaron, Kai, and my beloved guild. |
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Lost Talismans and a Tequila (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 7) by Annette Marie You know that squirmy sensation in your gut when you have no idea what you're doing and you're about to screw everything up? Yeah, that feeling. I thought I was a good judge of character, but recent events proved me very wrong. Now, in a brilliant demonstration of my newfound caution, I'm putting all my faith in a demonāa demon who's tried to kill me before. The squirmy feeling is making sense, right? Unfortunately, I don't have any other options. Ezra's time is almost up, which means I need answers and I need them fast. So it's time to toughen up, pack my gear, and find me one of the most illegal, reviled, and scarce mythics out there: a demon-mage summoner. And all I have to do is follow a demon's instructions on where to look. How could that go wrong? |
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Druid Vices and a Vodka (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 6) by Annette Marie I've said it before, but sometimes I'm a bad person. I cheated on my twelfth grade math final, I've run countless yellow lights, and I gossip about how hot my kickass best friends are. (Good thing my job as a guild bartender doesn't require moral perfection.) But there's bad, and then there's bad. And I'm not sure which applies to a certain dark druid/wanted criminal/reluctant friend of mine. His transgressions include black-magic dealings, kidnapping, and murder, and he's about to add "revenge-fueled killing spree" to his resumeāif I don't stop him. Should I stop him? He and his nemesis are gearing up to tear each other apart, rogues and vultures are converging with their sights on the spoils, and the guilds that would normally stomp them into the ground are under attack. We're on the verge of an all-out criminal turf war, and my time to decide is almost up. Who's the real bad guy ... and do I dare stand in his way? |
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The Alchemist and an Amaretto (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 5) by Annette Marie As a guild bartender, I can handle pretty much anything--mages, sorcerers, witches, the occasional demon. But show me anything family-related and I'd rather run for the hills. It doesn't even have to be my family. So I have no idea why I thought spending the holidays with Aaron's mom and pop was a good idea. Meeting his famous parents is already terrifying enough, but I've got a bigger problem. Students of his family's renowned mage academy are being attacked on the grounds--and somehow no one has seen a single assailant? Unexplained tracks litter the nearby woods, rumors of forbidden alchemy are circulating the campus...and Ezra has been acting strangely since we arrived. Something deadly is brewing in the shadow of Sinclair Academy, and the longer we take to uncover it, the more dangerous it becomes. But no matter the risk, we'll protect the students. And Aaron's parents too, I suppose. If we have to. |
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Demon Magic and a Martini (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 4) by Annette Marie When I first landed a bartending job at the local guild, I didn't know a thing about magic. These days, I'm practically an expert on the different magical classes, but there's one nobody ever talks about: Demonica. Turns out they have a good reason for that. My guild is strictly hellion-free, but some people will risk life and soul to control the biggest bullies on the mythic playground. And now a demon has been loosed in the city. My three best friends are determined to slay it, but even badass combat mages are critically out-magicked. And that's not all. The monster they're tracking--it's not hiding. It's not fleeing. It's not leaving a trail of corpses everywhere it goes. The demon is hunting too. And in a city full of mythics, it's searching for deadlier prey. If we can't unravel the demon's sinister motivations, more innocent people will die, but finding the answers means digging into dark secrets...and learning truths I never wanted to know. -- Note: The three mages are definitely sexy, but this series isn't a reverse harem. It's 100% fun, sassy, fast-paced urban fantasy. |
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Two Witches and a Whiskey (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 3) by Annette Marie Three months ago, I landed a job as a bartender. But not at a bar--at a guild. Yeah, the magic kind. I'm not a badass mage like my three smokin' hot best friends. I'm not a sorcerer or an alchemist, or even a wussy witch. I'm just a human, slinging drinks like a pro and keeping my non-magical nose out of mythic business. Seriously, I know my limits. So why am I currently standing in a black-magic ritual circle across from a fae lord? Somewhere behind me, my three mage friends are battling for their lives. Somewhere near my feet is the rogue witch I just knocked out with a stolen spell. And I have about five seconds to convince this very angry sea god not to shmoosh me like a bug. I'm pretty sure this wasn't in the job description. -- Note: The three mages are definitely sexy, but this series isn't a reverse harem. It's 100% fun, sassy, fast-paced urban fantasy. |
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Dark Arts and a Daiquiri (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 2) by Annette Marie When I found myself facing down the scariest black-magic felon in the city, practically daring him to abduct me, I had to wonder exactly how I ended up here. It all started when I accidentally landed a job as a bartender--but not at a bar. At a guild, populated by mages, sorcerers, alchemists, witches, and psychics. Good thing this lame-o human is adaptable, right? Then my favorite guild members--three sexy, powerful, and intermittently charming mages--asked for my help. Did they want access to my encyclopedic knowledge of cocktails? Oh no. They wanted to wrap me up in a pretty ribbon and plunk me in the crosshairs of a murderous rogue to lure him out of hiding. So that's what we did. And that's why I'm here. About to be kidnapped. Oh, and our grand plan for safely capturing said murderous rogue? Yeah, that completely fell apart about two minutes ago. Why did I agree to this again? -- Note: The three mages are definitely sexy, but this series isn't a reverse harem. It's 100% fun, sassy, fast-paced urban fantasy. |
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Three Mages and a Margarita (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 1) by Annette Marie Broke, almost homeless, and recently fired. Those are my official reasons for answering a wanted ad for a skeevy-looking bartender gig. It went downhill the moment they asked for a trial shift instead of an interviewāto see if I'd mesh with their "special" clientele. I think that part went great. Their customers were complete jerks, and I was an asshole right back. That's the definition of fitting in, right? I expected to get thrown out on my ass. Instead, they ... offered me the job? It turns out this place isn't a bar. It's a guild. And the three cocky guys I drenched with a margarita during my trial? Yeah, they were mages. Either I'm exactly the kind of takes-no-shit bartender this guild needs, or there's a good reason no one else wants to work here. So what's a broke girl to do? Take the job, of courseāwith a pay raise. -- Note: The three mages are definitely sexy, but this series isn't a reverse harem. It's 100% fun, sassy, fast-paced urban fantasy. Tori has no problem getting herself into trouble in every book in the Guild Codex series, but each one is a complete adventure. |
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Teddington Rex is living his best life, star of the daily chat show and darling of the social elite. There's just one problem, his life is the only one there is... everyone else here is dead. Augustan Blunt has been fired and humiliated in front of the whole city, but a mysterious stranger has a job for him. All Blunt has to do is find someone living in the afterlife. It's an impossible task, but he's got nothing better to do, and it isn't as if anyone else is going to employ him. The Grim Reaper isn't feeling himself. He isn't feeling anyone else either, but he's never been accused of being 'handsy'. Something is wrong in the city of Gloomwood. The dead are coming to life, toys are causing problems, and an old friend has turned up in town. Whatever happens everyone seems to have the same goal. Get Ted Dead. |
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Augustan Blunt is a washed out cop with a bad attitude, a drinking problem and a troubled past, oh, he's also dead but that's okay so is everyone else. Other than that things are just peachy. Someone has stolen the Grim Reaper's head and Blunt has been told to find it. In a new city where the rules of the living don't apply Blunt's up to his neck in the brown stuff and he's never been much of a swimmer. With the aid of a woman who keeps turning involuntarily invisible, a journalist who hasn't written an article since she died, and a bureaucrat who can't say no to anyone, Blunt's got to stop whoever is stealing the heads of the city's elite. As he begins his investigations he finds things aren't all they seem. Who are the Gloomwood Youth Order? What do you call the murder of someone already dead? Why are people having their heads chopped off? And what is in the hot dogs? With time slipping away he needs to learn what makes the city tick before there's no city left. |
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Black Moon: The Chronicles of Tucker Littlefield by Tegon Maus "Well?" She asked after a few moments. "Well what?" I returned. "I don't see him anymore. Maybe you should go see if he's alright." "I beg your pardon?" "Don't give me that. What if something happened to him. You're the husband. Go see if it's safe," She admonished, striking me in the chest with the back of her hand. "And if it's not? Then what?" "Well, the sensible thing to do is throw yourself in front of whatever it is that's trying to eat you and give me time to get away of course," she said matter-of-factly. "Trying to eat me? Why the hell would you say that?" "I don't know, it just came to me," She shrugged. "How is it that I'm the one being eaten?" "You're the husband. People would talk if something happened to me and not to you." "In the future, let them talk," I grumbled. |
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Orconomics (The Dark Profit Saga #1) by J. Zachary Pike Brimming with swords, sorcery, and wit, Orconomics: A Satire introduces Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. For the licensed wizards and warriors of Arth, slaying and looting the forces of evil is just a job. The Heroes' Guild has turned adventuring into a career, selling the rights to monstersā hoards of treasure as investment opportunities. Corporations spend immense sums sponsoring heroes to undertake quests, betting theyāll reap the profits in plunder funds when the loot is divvied up. Questing was all business for famous Dwarven berserker Gorm Ingerson, until a botched expedition wiped out his party, disgraced his name, and reduced him to a thieving vagabond. Twenty years later, a chance encounter sees Gorm forcibly recruited by a priest of a mad goddess to undertake a quest that has a reputation for getting heroes killed. But thereās more to Gormās new job than an insane prophecy; powerful corporations and governments have shown an unusual interest in the job. Gorm might be able to turn a bad deal into a golden opportunity and win back the fame and fortune he lost so long ago. Promising fun, fantasy, and financial calamity, Orconomics: A Satire is the first book in The Dark Profit Saga, an economically epic trilogy. Winner of the 4th Self Published Fantasy Blog Off -- (SPFBO 2018) |
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Sorrowfish (The Call of the Lorica, #1) by Anne C. Miles Sara isn't selfish. She's sorrowfish. BEST FANTASY 2019 INDIES TODAY Sara is having crazy dreams. Gryphon and dragon crazy. The scary part is waking up, safe in her apartment, with scratches and splinters. Is she losing it because of stress? One more unfinished sculpture will fully tank her grades. Goodbye bachelor's degree, hello failure. Her twin sister is in a coma. And on top of everything else, her best friend Peter wants a date. It's enough to make anyone sleepwalk. Choosing to defy the Conclave, Bard-in-training Trystan risks capture and mind control to find a magical lute through a shadow network. Luthier-wizard Dane meets a sinister stranger and barely escapes with his life. Together, they must end an ancient curse, guided by a fae they only know as Sara. |
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Shadow of a Dead God (Mennik Thorn #1) by Patrick Samphire A dead god. A brutal murder. A second-rate mage. It was only supposed to be one little job ā a simple curse-breaking for Mennik Thorn to pay back a favor to his oldest friend. But then it all blew up in his face. Now he's been framed for a murder he didn't commit. So how is a second-rate mage, broke, traumatized, and with a habit of annoying the wrong people supposed to prove his innocence when everyone believes he's guilty? Mennik has no choice if he wants to get out of this: he is going to have to throw himself into the corrupt world of the cityās high mages, a world he fled years ago. Faced by supernatural beasts, the mage-killing Ash Guard, and a ruthless, unknown adversary, itās going to take every trick Mennik can summon just to keep him and his friend alive. But a new, dark power is rising in Agatos, and all that stands in its way is one damaged mageā¦ |
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The Origin of Birds in the Footprints of Writing by Raymond St. Elmo Clarence St. Claire is a programmer who cherishes an orderly life. His motto: āwork is important; people, not so muchā. His determination to be The Most Serious Person on the Planet is threatened when he becomes haunted by a mysterious manuscript from his past: 300 pages of possibly random bird tracks. Risking his career and self-possession, St. Claire dares to pursue the manuscript against the opposition of hackers, the NSA, the ghosts of famous writers and doubts of his own sanity. Lost in a maze of bird-prints and their possible meanings, St. Claire determines to summon the late writer Jorge Louis Borges to help with the translation. He will dream Borges into existence, exactly as Borges wrote of doing. But this act stirs the opposition of a secret order of past writers, who may, possibly, have their own agenda. The duel between St. Claireās reality and theirs leads to a final encounter in The Dark Library, before the dread conclave known as The Tribunal of Dreams. āOriginsā is a book about books, about magic realism and artificial intelligence, virtual reality and languages, and how sensible people wind up in strange situations by strangely sensible steps. It is built of the words books whisper to each other alone after the library has closed. It ends as it must: with the hero tossed into a pit by Edgar Alan Poe. Kidding. I mean, that last does happen but the final ending is the hero finding the answer and getting the girl, as well as his sanity back. Mostly back. |
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Mid-Lich Crisis by Steve Thomas Is trying to sacrifice your estranged wife to a bloodthirsty demon an irredeemable act of evil? This is the sort of question the Dread Wizard Darruk Darkbringer struggles with. After being called evil one too many times, Darruk sets off to find a new purpose in his life and become a beloved celebrity. Can a dark wizard come to terms with himself and prove to the world that a few atrocities donāt define who he is? Youāll feel guilty for laughing at his twisted tale of self-discovery. |
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The First Rule of Adventuring (Cruxverse #1) by Vichet Ou He was just trying to be polite. Asmund Alefson is a professional adventurer who hates his job. Silga Goldenfield is the chronically-kidnapped princess that he accidentally inspires to become an adventurer. Unwilling to dash her dreams, and because dead princesses result in low-or-no reward, Asmund reluctantly takes Silga on as an apprentice. Little do they know, her life choices have run afoul of more than a few dastardly schemes, as an old enemy of the Norlanders waits in the shadows, and a very strange goose follows them around from job to job. The First Rule of Adventuring is a Pratchett-esque comedic fantasy adventure set in the Cruxverse, where music is magic, no one fights werecreatures for free, and even the Composer Gods have to pay rent. |