stories in and

The Marauders, the Daughter, and the Dragon by K.R.R. Lockhaven

To say that Azure Brine is at odds with her father would be an understatement. A new governor has emerged in the League of Islands, and her father has completely bought in to his “Humans First” rhetoric, pushing their once-strong relationship to the breaking point. Their connection is truly put to the test when her father decides to join the governor’s ship on a voyage to the Capitol Isles for the inauguration. But when Azure learns the governor has nefarious plans for the islands, and her father is in danger, she and her best friend (a foul-mouthed bird named Robin) set out across the archipelago to save him. Along the way they meet a reanimated skeleton with confidence issues, a group of pirates who just want to sing and have adventures, and…a dragon.


The Vilification of Aqua Marine (Working Masks #1) by Megan Mackie

One Parent was a superhero, one parent was a supervillain, Aqua Marine is a work in progress. Despite Aqua Marine’s super lineage, this wannabe superhero can only control a cup of water at a time. Not very effective as far as superpowers go. Never mind being able to stop the new nefarious villain, The Overlord of the Dance from taking over part of the city. That is until she discovers there is a cup of water in the human heart when she accidentally blows his out. Now her villainous mother wants her to join the League of Extraordinary Evil. Aqua Marine would like to hide under a rock. And Overlord of the Dance? Is apparently not quite dead yet, and he would like to have a word with her about becoming his new nemesis. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, Aqua Marine’s is a slip and slide, with capes.


The Rules of Supervillainy by C.T. Phipps

Gary Karkofsky is an ordinary guy with an ordinary life living in an extraordinary world. Supervillains, heroes, and monsters are a common part of the world he inhabits. Yet, after the death of his hometown's resident superhero, he gains the amazing gift of the late champion's magical cloak. Deciding he prefers to be rich rather than good, Gary embarks on a career as Merciless: The Supervillain Without Mercy. But is he evil enough to be a villain in America's most crime-ridden city? Gary soon finds himself surrounded by a host of the worst of Falconcrest City's toughest criminals. Supported by his long-suffering wife, his ex-girlfriend turned professional henchwoman, and a has-been evil mastermind, Gary may end up being not the hero they want but the villain they need.


Dog Eaters by Malcolm Wong

Mankind failed to transcend the Petroleum Age… 175 years after the Die Off, civilization consists of scattered nomadic tribes, isolated casino-cities, and hordes of predatory bandits. The Black Dog Clan heads down the Southwest trade route to make their home on the Gulf.


BOB: NON-UNION PSYCHIC - The Big Book of Bob Volume 1 by Lance Lucero

Follow your friendly neighborhood Renegade Psychic, Professional Hairstylist! His Gramps calls his abilities a gift. But Bob doesn’t consider his psychic powers to be a gift; more like an overwhelming nightmare. When a powerful ancient creature called the Hux, a beast that has been the scourge of his bloodline for the last millennia, is accidentally unleashed by a fortune-hungry archaeologist, Bob has no choice but to follow in Gramps’ footsteps and show off his psychic skills. He must fight before the beast kills again. And keep up with those hair appointments as well…


Anamnesis by Susana Imaginário

Mistakes were made. The future is uncertain. And Time doesn't care. As the story ends, we'll finally learn how it started. The world is breaking apart. Only the combined willpower of Hades and Hel can save it. But Love has other plans. Meanwhile, the gods need to deal with the outcomes of their choices; everyone else needs to survive them. And Psyche must finally face her greatest foe. Can free will cheat fate, or is fate the consequence of free will?


Why Odin Drinks by Bjørn Larssen

In the beginning there was confusion. Then Gods created people. Confusion was better. Well, have YOU ever woken up not knowing how to God properly? Poor Odin must restrain his brothers, who create offensive weapons such as mosquitoes and celery; placate his future-telling wife, Frigg, who demands sweatpants with pockets; listen to Loki’s Helpful Questions; hang himself from Yggdrasil for nine days with a spear through his side (as you do); teach everyone about nutritional values of kale (but NOT celery); meet a Wise Dom, Sir Daddy Mímir, in order to outwit those who outwit him; and, most importantly, prove he is The All-Father, while his brothers are, at best, Those-Uncles-We-Don’t-Talk-About. This nearly (except in Vanaheim) universally acclaimed retelling of the Gods’ first millennium answers way too many questions, including ones on Freyr’s entendre, horse designing… and why Odin drinks. 'So, I loved it! Here's my quote: "Funny, quirky and surreal, this is the Norse myth you've been craving." Will it do?' – Joanne Harris, author of The Gospel of Loki and Chocolat Why Odin Drinks, a Norse Mythology retelling for fans of Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, Jenny Lawson, and Calvin & Hobbes is suitable for readers aged 14+. The book features no graphic descriptions, although some characters wish it would.


Blazing Coffins by Jowsey Jones

Jowsey Jones is the newest comedy fantasy voice in town and he brings you a tumbling SFF farce with Blazing Coffins, the first in The Monster Twins series. Theda and Wolfie are The Monster Twins and boy, do they have their hands full in this madcap good vs evil romp with a mind-boggling cast of monstrosities. Sad sack Theda is woken from a horrible hex and finds there is more to life than drudgery in her uncle’s wonky funeral parlour. Something is tingling in her teeth, and wait…why has her dimwit hunk of a brother sprouted a tail? Before long, the twins are chasing around a bizarro America trying to save their parents from a lunatic sorcerer with pharaonic delusions. They face an army of crackpot enemies: a vampire haberdasher and his toothy cohort, bumbling claymen, and a beautiful, insatiable nightmare from the ancient Steppes. Even Santa gets a cameo, and he isn’t very nice at all. Thankfully, they have some monsters of their own to help: an old-school Frankencouple and a Green Man with his snippety eco-warrior wife. Plus a trio of cheerful dead people, the world’s worst paranormal investigator, and a lovelorn bogman in dire need of moisturiser. Welcome to a fearless frolic that sacrifices anything for a laugh. Get your giggles here with Blazing Coffins.


The Extramundane Emancipation of Geela, Evil Sorceress at Large by Laura Brisbois

A holy priest and an evil sorceress hunting for her ex-husband. What could go wrong? Darkos, holy priest of Alerion, only ever wanted to defeat a great evil and complete his pilgrimage. But when he discovers his innocent, sweet, and catastrophically clumsy companion Geela is actually the exact evil sorceress he swore to destroy, his best-laid plans are turned on their head. In Geela’s defense, she only needed an escort home because her ex-husband changed the locks. However, Darkos has grown on Geela, much like a beloved pet. Or a fungus. Things might have gone sideways, but they can make this work. After all, Geela needs a minion to help hunt down her ex, and Darkos is convinced he can find a scrap of redemption in her cold, dead heart. But Geela might not be the only one whose soul needs saving.


The Mystery Of The Murdered Guy by G.M. Nair

After their very public triumph over the sinister machinations of the Future Group, Michael Duckett and Stephanie Dyer's accidental detective agency has become a household name. Practically overnight, they've cemented their place as the city's go-to sleuths for solving the weird, oddball cases that would confuse and irritate anyone else. Join them as they tackle the mysteries of a medically licensed vampire, a mysterious mad bomber, a genderfluid reverse werewolf, and the true meaning of Christmas - just to name a few. Meanwhile, an aging billionaire obsesses over his plans to achieve immortality, which could mean dire consequences for the world. But with Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire on the case, what could go wrong? If you said 'everything', you'd be correct.


The Nine by C.G. Harris

Winner of the Colorado Indie Author Project award for Adult Fiction! Hell is not what you think ... It’s bone-chilling. Gabe is a good guy making the best of eternity in a place not known for its hospitality — until he is recruited by Judas Iscariot (yes, that Judas) to join a sect of double agents dedicated to sabotaging the mayhem being released on Earth. Armed with a skill set of irritating quips and zero knowledge of the modern world, Gabe must figure out how to work with his beautiful, tough-as-nails partner without botching the mission or revealing his true identity. If this unlikely hero can’t figure it out before disaster strikes, facing the wrath of Hell will be the least of his worries … If you like snarky characters and dark humor, then you’ll love The Nine, the first book in the action-packed, supernatural Judas Files urban fantasy series. Series now complete!


Hazelhearth Hires Heroes by D. H. Willison

Welcome to Hazelhearth: our picturesque city is nestled in a tranquil corner of the empire. Fitness lovers enjoy vigorous nature walks in the surrounding forest (don’t forget your sword!) Foodies savor rich, robust walnut-based cuisine. Or visit the gnome quarter for a walk on the wild side! Local mines and orchards beckon with plentiful employment opportunities, while workers sleep safe knowing that stout city walls keep mythic monsters at bay. A select few may even be chosen for exciting quest opportunities. The onslaught of subterranean hordes? Oh, that’s happening miles away. And the elves have it completely under control. Inquire today at the Hazelhearth board of tourism, employment, and heroics! How could Sam and Lee say no? Lee is bored to tears as a telegrapher. His only excitement in life is the revolutionary new board game he’s creating. And of course constant disruptions at work by Sam, whose high voltage experiments wreak havoc with nearby electric systems. These two best buddies… err... colleagues... err... acquaintances are ready to escape from 19th century America into a more exciting world!


Penny for Your Soul by K.A. Ashcomb

The dead don’t wait. But they do work in the factories, decide over policies, and hate to stay buried six feet under. Petula Upwood is about to find what the undead genuinely want. She follows strangers into the night to awaken a man who many would prefer to stay under. She will soon realize that being a necromancer is more about politics than perfecting the art of waking the dead. And she hates it. Herbert Ringworm, a sculptor and a werewolf-wrestler, is willing to kill to serve his justice. Not that easy when he is forced to pair with a genteel ghoul. The only thing he wants is Ona to be alive again. Morris Reinhardt, a banker, needs to get tonight right to save his late father’s bank from the ruins by starting a conspiracy. He just isn’t sure about his accomplices and should have known better than put Petula’s life in danger. Everything is going haywire. If they want to survive tonight, they need to cooperate. Penny for Your Soul is an economic and political satire with humans, ghouls, and undead willing to do anything to have a win. It is full of personal stories and a few jokes about metaphysics and humanity.


Excalibur Nights by Daniel Aegan

Excalibur Nights is just a book… Or is it? What is Ralph supposed to know about fantasy books meant for young adults anyways? He’s an electrician by trade, and he’s way too old to be reading about princesses, castles, and centaurs. Who has time for that kind of nonsense in their lives when you have a job, an ex-wife, and bills to worry about? But then Abby came along, and ruined Ralph’s blissful ignorance. She introduced him to the book and movie series that changed his life. Her obsession leaked into their budding relationship. To make matter a hell of a lot worse, Ralph found himself magically transported to the fantasy world of Mariella. You read that last sentence right. Now Ralph is trapped inside the world of Excalibur Nights with no idea why and no way to get home. Does he go along with the story and try to woo Princess Abbie, the literary counterpart to the girlfriend he left behind in the real world? And what does he do about the love triangle between himself, the princess, and the centaur named Poe? He doesn’t know enough about the genre to untangle the mess of crisscrossing mythos, magic, and royal drama. Excalibur Nights by Daniel Aegan is an unapologetic fantasy that spins the fantasy genre on its head. Come on… You know they had it coming!


Gingerbread Children by Carol Carman

Family secrets... an ancient curse... confectionery. Not quite what Dominica Tort is expecting when her friend dies. But then her friend was the most powerful witch in the country: the Matriarch of the University of Nature, where witches have been trained for longer than history can remember. A new Matriarch must be inaugurated, but who will it be? Nothing is certain until the envelope’s opened – and not even then. Especially when one candidate disappears and suspicion falls on another. And what’s the shortbread cottage all about? As Vice-Matriarch, Dominica must save not only people’s lives, but the future of witchcraft itself. Warning: contains gingerbread.


Envy by Tim Beeden

When Charlie Lightfoot plays his fiddle, people listen. More importantly, they pay. It could be that music is Charlie’s way out of a tough life on the Backstreets of Calver. There are, however, plenty of people who are only too happy for Charlie to stay exactly where he is. Not only that, they’ll do whatever they can to keep him there. But when Charlie decides to take his future in his own hands, he realises just how far-reaching the hands of others can be. A story about always keeping your eye on someone else’s blessings. “Envy is a Seven Deadly and Four novel set in and around the notorious city built on a hill – Calver. Once within the city’s great walls you’ll encounter such luminaries as Auntie, Drunk Morgan, Mr. Lunk, Blind Watch ‘em, as well as Charlie Lightfoot and his friends. Just remember to watch your step, keep your wits about you and carry something pointy.” The Seven Deadly and Four books have been described as “ideal for fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett.”


On Lavender Tides by Travis M. Riddle

Ever since he was a kid, all Balt Vana wanted was to be a world-renowned Jekua Summoner like his grandmother, battling other Summoners in front of audiences of thousands. But from where he stands now, living up to the Vana name feels impossible. When his best friend Alani, an initiate at the local Church, is sent on a pilgrimage to find her path in life and the god she will follow, Balt sees the perfect opportunity to launch his career by escorting her across the archipelago and its purple seas. The islands are filled with monsters to imprint and Summoners to battle, with every victory bringing him one step closer to his dream. It will take more than just his family name to reach the same heights as his grandmother, but Balt won't stop until he does.


Any Minor World by Craig Schaefer

For Roy Mackey -- a recovering addict who makes his living as an unlicensed PI and occasional muscle for hire -- tracking down a dead writer's final manuscript should be a walk in the park. Too bad his client is a phony, the dead writer is a thief, and shadowy men are watching his every move. All clues lead to a canceled pulp-adventure comic, The Midnight Jury, and its mousy, reclusive author. Lucy Langenkamp is living a quiet life as an art restorer in Las Vegas; when Roy helps her escape from a crew of armed kidnappers, she's as baffled as he is. Then one of her own characters, a flamethrower-wielding "human exterminator," steps out of the pages of her comic book and into the real world. He's intent on hunting her down, and he isn't alone. The pulp villains spawned from Lucy's childhood imagination are coming to life, searching for their long-lost author. Her most sinister creation, the Illustrated Duke, has a dark plan in motion. This is a job for Lucy's two-fisted vigilante, the Midnight Jury. But the Jury is missing. To save the day, Lucy and Roy must descend into a noir-drenched nightmare city on a rescue mission. The walls between fiction and reality are shattered, there's wild magic in the air, and it's up to two unlikely heroes to risk it all and save the day.


Hell and High Water by Charlotte E. English

Meet the baddest belles of London city. They were known as the fatales, once. Investigators and spies; killers and thieves; con artists and vigilantes — they fought fire with fire, did what had to be done, to make things right. Until the mission that broke them. Many decades later, the fatales have scattered to the winds. Fionn's the queen of London haute couture. Thetai's the star of the power metal scene. And Daix? Could be anything. Anywhere. It'll take a lot to bring them back together. When a model goes missing from a catwalk show, Fionn's frantic. The girl was a friend — and a fellow selkie. And she won't be the last to vanish. To catch the monster responsible, Fionn needs backup. It's time for the fatales to reunite, but can they get it together after eighty years apart? And will it be enough to face down an old enemy straight out of their murky, half-forgotten past? Three fabulous fae banter and brawl their way through a re-imagined, modern-day London — fighting crime, forging friendships and causing havoc. With style. Perfectly tailored for fans of urban fantasy and Charlie’s Angels!


You Can't Prevent Prophecy by D.G. Redd

Three arrogant heroes all want the Eye of Aera, but little do they know that they are about to face world-shattering prophecies. Josephus believes he is the prophesised Chosen One, on a quest to save the world. Accompanying him into the dungeon is his trusty side-kick, Grilk, a kobold wizard. They seek the Eye of Aera, a magical artifact. On the other side of the dungeon, Penellina Dairgren descends into its depths. She considers herself a master halfling thief, and to prove it, she will be the first to uncover the Eye of Aera. Meanwhile, back in town, a proselytising dwarven cleric seeks solace in a good meal at the local tavern. One day, when he's converted enough people to his god's religion, he will be welcomed back into his lord's good graces. None of them know it, but they're all about to be swept up into a mess of ancient prophecies. But prophecies are malleable things that can be bent to suit the needs of those with the knowledge and power to do so. This is a light-hearted adventure in the vein of a fantasy roleplaying campaign. The characters are memorable, the stakes are high, and the adventure goes through many twists and unexpected outcomes. You can expect to laugh often and be entertained throughout.


The Lich of Thandorien by Zak Dragon

Old high school classmates and current drinking buddies, Phil and Don find themselves transported into a Crypts & Crusades role-playing adventure they had abandoned five years earlier. If that wasn't bad enough, it seems that some of the non-player characters, or Extra Dungeon Personalities (EDPs) as they now prefer to be called, have taken on a life of their own during the extended downtime and have veered away from the normal script. Fortunately for the daring duo, there is plenty of beer and they manage to get a little help along the way from an inquisitive but emotional ranger, a home-brewing, pub-owning dwarf and his ogre bartender, a grumpy old gardener and a host of other colorful characters. But will it be enough to defeat the crypt's antagonist, locate a powerful relic and get out alive?


Blazing Coffins by Jowsey Jones

BLAZING COFFINS: A FANTASY FARCE Monster Twins Theda and Wolfie chase around a bizarro America trying to save their parents from a lunatic sorcerer with pharaonic delusions. They face an army of crackpot enemies: a vampire haberdasher and his toothy cohort, bumbling claymen, and a beautiful, insatiable nightmare from the ancient Steppes. Even Santa gets a cameo, and he isn’t very nice at all. Thankfully, they have some monsters of their own to help: an old-school Frankencouple and a Green Man with his snippety eco-warrior wife. Plus a trio of cheerful dead people, the world’s worst paranormal investigator, and a lovelorn bogman in dire need of moisturiser. Jowsey Jones is the newest comedy fantasy voice in town and he brings you a tumbling SFF farce with Blazing Coffins, the first in TheMonster Twins series. Welcome to a fearless frolic that sacrifices anything for a laugh. Get your giggles here with Blazing Coffins.


Bones to the Wind by Tatiana Obey

Rasia is determined to destroy her old man’s record in the Forging, a trial each child must succeed to come of age. All Rasia needs to do is hunt down a gonda, hitch its tentacle ass to her windship, and haul it back home in record time. Easy. Or it would be if Rasia wasn’t stuck on the same team as Nico—a know-it-all, spoiled, grubworm who never does anything Rasia tells her to do. Nico doesn’t care about Rasia’s egotistical dreams of glory. This is her brother’s last chance to pass the Forging or her father is going to banish him from the family. She needs to scour the desert to find whatever team the bones placed him on and help him kill a gonda before it kills him. Too bad Nico and Rasia can’t get along to steer a windship straight. BONES TO THE WIND is a coming-of-age sword and sorcery fantasy adventure. Action-packed and humorous, the novel includes strong female characters, LGBTQIA+ representation, and mature themes.


Liches Get Stitches by HJ Tolson

Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs. Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbours of the realm. Now instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare. Featuring people mulch, head bouquets, revenant geese, and some very deadly embroidery, undead paradise never looked so good. A very grisly slice-of-life progression fantasy. Trigger warning for gore and violence.


The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic by Kian N. Ardalan

George is a legendary hero...wait, no. George is an incredibly powerful sorcerer...also no? Okay, fine. George is an unremarkable human bard who made a promise a long time ago. A promise that set him on a path to find the remains of Simantiar, the greatest wizard who ever lived. Though all that was left were bones, Simantiar was still very much alive and quite...underwhelming. This is their story: The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a dead wizard and an average bard.


Little Drummer Boy: A Darkly Humorous Paranormal Holiday Short (Hemlock Connal Book 2) by Joel Spriggs

A darkly humorous paranormal Christmas short! Boston’s strangest private investigator, Hemlock Connal, is back! Along with her longest surviving intern, Morgan Burns. When a demonic drummer boy walks down their road leading a small team of zombies, the detective duo take a much needed break from a boring financial case. As they follow the horned drummer from Boston to the middle of nowhere, they find the zombie squad has more secrets than just marching through the night. Hemlock and Morgan get led through a dark journey of black market organ theft, drug sorting undead, all leading up to meeting the big man himself. Confronted with the ultimate arbiter of the holiday season, will Hemlock and Morgan survive the test of naughty or nice? Find out, in Little Drummer Boy!


Over a God's Dead Body: A Supernatural Comedy (Wrong Gods Book 1) by Joel Spriggs

"It's an offbeat comedy in the vein of American Gods" In the same style of humor as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, you'll find the Norse gods and characters hilarious. If you are looking for a humorous adult version of the Magnus Chase series, you'll be laughing at how Esmy and Jake deal with Loki. Esmy is frustrated by a lack of pockets on women's pants. Living with her librarian brother Jake in a small Indiana town and working at a private college, Esmy feels like she is is stuck in a rut. Meeting Loki ignites their lives like a powder-keg. This simple, seemingly innocuous encounter leads Esmy and Jake to discover the campus's mysterious depths, involving sasquatches, vampires, and much more with the supernatural, magical and paranormal. In a crudely comedic high-stakes game of maneuvering, Loki's freedom and Esmy's survival come down to a fight over a God's dead body. Will Esmy become a reluctant hero? Is Jake a lucky novice necromancer? Will Loki actually become a half-decent mentor? If you like insane action, hilarious dialogue, and gods behaving badly, then you'll love the first installment in Joel Spriggs's series of magical realism and whimsical mythology.


The Woeling Lass by Dave Dobson

An assassin hunts Inspector Gueran Declais through the streets of Frosthelm, and she is not acting alone. Just as he learns that his family may have been attacked and slain, Gueran is struck down as well. Despite the odds, he lives. Barely. Whisked away from the city for his safety, he struggles to recover from his injuries, learn his family's fate, and uncover the identity of those who want him dead. Far from Frosthelm, he becomes caught up in investigating another bloody attack, one that may or may not have been perpetrated by vengeful spirit of a woman wronged long ago, and one that threatens to expose him to his enemies. The locals are certain, though: the killer had to be the Woeling Lass, her hands cold as the grave and her feet aflame. Back in Frosthelm, Urret Milton is an apprentice in some difficulty at the Guild. She receives a mysterious note for Gueran, a man everyone thinks is dead. Rapidly embroiled in the effort to unravel the reason for the killings and bring the assassins to justice, Urret struggles to shed her troubles and show that she has what it takes to be an inspector. But all this leads her into far more peril than she bargained for, for which she can't possibly be ready. Her position at the Guild, the security of the city, and her life itself are all at stake. This tale from the Inquisitors' Guild of Frosthelm is a fresh mystery full of swordplay, deceit, ancient magic, scheming nobles, and a healthy dose of humor. Combining the clues and hidden mysteries of detective stories with all the grand adventure of epic fantasy, The Woeling Lass is a wondrous journey through betrayal, murder, ancient legend, loss, courage, and redemption. And, it has really silly chapter titles.


Off Leash by Daniel Potter

We all have bad days. Ever have one so bad that it changes your entire life? A day so bad that talking cats, magical inquisitors, and werewolves now seem normal? For Thomas Khatt that day was today. From one moment jobless to the next being awakened into a brand new form. Now he has a murder to help solve, a girlfriend to help with family problems and a boss that is just a bit more than your normal hothead. What would you do in his paws?


All Things Huge And Hideous by G. Scott Huggins

"Hilarious! Veterinary horror like Terry Pratchett would write!" -- D.J. Butler, author of WITCHY EYE "A rollicking adventure that hits all the right notes." --Christopher Ruocchio, Award-Winning Author of The Sun Eater Series Everyone says it was better in the Good Old Days. Before the Dark Lord subjugated us. Before he gave all the good land to his ogres, orcs and trolls, reducing the civilized races to serfdom and the dirty work: pig farming, sewer cleaning, veterinary medicine. But even before that happened, things weren't that much different for the veterinarians. Everyone cheered the heroes who rode their unicorn chargers into combat against the Dark Lord's dragons, but no one ever remembered who treated the unicorns’ phosphine burns afterward. The only real difference is that now I'm treating the dragons. Today I have to save one's life. Know what fewmets are? No? Then make a sacrifice of thanks right now to whatever gods you worship, because I have only a few hours to figure a way to get them flowing back out of the Dark Lord’s favorite dragon. Yeah, from the other end. And that’s just my most illustrious client. I’ve got orcs and trolls who might eat me and dark elf barons who might sue me if their bloodhawks and chimeras don’t pull through. And that doesn’t even consider the possibility that the old hag with the basilisk might show up. The only thing that’s gone right this evening is finding Harriet to be my veterinary assistant. She’s almost a witch, which just might save us both. If we don’t kill each other first.


Far Far Beyond Berlin by Craig Meighan

Not everything goes to plan at the first attempt… In Da Vinci’s downstairs loo hung his first, borderline insulting, versions of the Mona Lisa. Michelangelo’s back garden was chock-a-block full of ugly lumps of misshapen marble. Even Einstein committed a great ‘blunder’ in his first go at General Relativity. God is no different, this universe may be his masterpiece, but there were many failed versions before it – and they’re still out there. Far Far Beyond Berlin is a fantasy novel, which tells the story of a lonely, disillusioned government worker’s adventures after being stranded in a faraway universe – Joy World: God’s first, disastrous attempt at creation. God’s previous universes, a chain of 6 now-abandoned worlds, are linked by a series of portals. Our jaded hero must travel back through them, past the remaining dangers and bizarre stragglers. He’ll join forces with a jolly, eccentric and visually arresting, crew of sailors on a mysteriously flooded world. He’ll battle killer robots and play parlour games against a clingy supercomputer, with his life hanging in the balance. He’ll become a teleportation connoisseur; he will argue with a virtual goose – it sure beats photocopying. Meanwhile, high above in the heavens, an increasingly flustered God tries to manage the situation with His best friend Satan; His less famous son, Jeff; and His ludicrously angry angel of death, a creature named Fate. They know that a human loose in the portal network is a calamity that could have apocalyptic consequences in seven different universes. Fate is dispatched to find and kill the poor man before the whole place goes up in a puff of smoke; if he can just control his temper…


NACL: Eye of the Storm by Allegra Pescatore & E. Sands

Lani should never have trusted any plan that started with the words, "So, I have an idea, but first you need a drink." When a crazy Precog handed Lani the coordinates to a stretch of ocean just off the Salt Spire, she should have thrown them overboard. Going there would be a horrible idea. Lani, though, was a pro at making bad decisions. A not-so-chance encounter with escaped salt slave Adavera launches them on a path to forsake all that they know and dare to take on the cruel Corporation that controls every grain of salt on their planet. With the help of old friends, new friends, and people they are pretty sure might be enemies, Adavera and Lani travel outside the protective reef that keeps the worst of the Storms off the Islands and venture into a world of piracy, astonishing powers, and unexpected love. The odds might be against them, but with a little planning and a lot of brass, this team of misfits intends to do the impossible. They have very little in common, except for two things: They all want to blow the Crystal Corporation into oblivion... And are willing to sacrifice anything to see it done. NACL: Eye of the Storm is a high-octane, non-stop, foul mouthed and steamy roller-coaster of a novel. Grab your favorite bottle of rum and revolutionary spirit, and jump into the ride of a lifetime.


The Only Wizard in Town by Heide Goody and Iain Grant

A city under siege by a barbarian horde… A band of ruthless mercenaries… A trap-filled dungeon… A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town. What they’ve got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist. More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew…


Shift Happens by T.M. Baumgartner

Everyone has an alternate form. Lucky people never shift into it. For everyone else, there’s the Magical Probation Department. MPD Officer Angela Jones has spent her entire career helping shifters get back into their human forms and ensuring they can manage their magical powers. Her methods are a little unconventional, but she’s built a strong community of people who help each other. A far cry from her coworkers who would rather emulate the tough guy hero of “Shift Enforcers,” protecting the world from shifters at any cost and grabbing all the glory along the way. Angela has mostly resigned herself to never being promoted again. But a new source of magic downtown is causing havoc. She can’t convince her boss to look into it…until a fire-breathing dragon appears. Now Angela is being shut out of the case of a lifetime, and the city she protects is in danger of being destroyed. When shift happens, Angela must step up…even if it means risking her own life to safeguard others.


The ALL - GOD OF NOTHING by Shane Scott

What if God and the Devil had a daughter? Who would she be? Rated MA and 18+ due to sexual situations, including LGBTQ+, vulgar language, some violence, smoking, drugs, and also mentions rape. The ALL series chronicles four generations of the most powerful Immortal family in God’s creation. The Promethean saga spans uncountable years and dozens of worlds. Mortals, Gods, Devils, Dragons, Titans, Demons, Werewolves, Vampires, and Angels clash in a never-ending battle of love and hate. The first book in the ALL, God of Nothing, starts the epic adventure. Murdered at seventeen by the Titan, Silver, God of Death, Aja Ashe wakes with her Dragon. Thrust into a bizarre world where her enemies are friends, and friends are enemies, she learns the truth about her parents and herself. Her mother is God, and her father is the Devil. She was the first thing born, not created. Enraged that Aja survived, Silver, God of Death, forces her to make choices to protect those she loves. Will Aja save the ALL or destroy it? If she survives, will she hate herself for what she’s done?


Zombie Walkabout by Phillip Murrell

Thrill rides? Safari? A cruise? Why waste your time (and money) when the best way to spend your holiday is at ZOMBIE WALKABOUT! Our staff has packages available for whatever your desire. Planning a memorable bucks party? Check. Want to pray for the souls of the victims? Check. Looking to retrieve medical samples for all the innovative research in zombie medicine? We have a lab on our premises! We can even set you up with a trip to visit the Aboriginal Australian tribes living among the dead. But zombie hunting sounds dangerous! No worries. Our state-of-the-art armor combination is scientifically proven to keep you one hundred percent protected. Here at Zombie Walkabout, we pride ourselves on our flawless safety record. The only concern you'll have is how all subsequent holidays will never live up to this one! So hurry up and commit, mate. Book this summer to meet American mix martial artist Sam "Pounder" Ponsness. This rising star will augment our staff for the season. Zombie Walkabout. Where the dead give you a reason for living!


Psycho Hose Beast From Outer Space by C.D. Gallant-King

Newfoundland, Canada, 1992. Gale Harbour hasn’t seen any excitement since the military abandoned the base there thirty years ago, unless you count the Tuesday night 2-for-1 video rentals at Jerry's Video Shack. So when a dead body turns up floating in the town water supply, all evidence seems to point to a boring accident. Niall, Pius and Harper are dealing with pre-teen awkwardness in the last days of summer before the start of high school. The same night the body is found, the three of them witness unusual lights in the sky over the bay. Is it a coincidence? Are the lights connected to the rapidly-increasing string of mysterious deaths? And what does the creepy old lady at the nursing home have to do with it? There is an evil older than time hidden deep beneath the waters of the North Atlantic. It is hungry, and vengeful, and it has its sights set on Gale Harbour to begin its path of destruction. All that stands in its way are a group of kids who would rather be playing Street Fighter II...


Waking the Witch by W. V. Fitz-Simon

She never wanted to be a witch, but when sorcerers threaten her loved ones, what else should the 20th century woman do? Slip on her favorite Siouxsie Sioux t-shirt, touch up her makeup, and bring down the house. Literally. To Gosha Armitage, magic is a four-letter word, but in her mother's world of witchcraft, words have power, power Gosha will sacrifice everything to acquire. When a murderous sorcerer masquerading as a New Age guru conspires to consume the life force of her best friend, the reluctant witch has no choice but to embrace her heritage, submit to her mother's caustic authority, and descend into a clandestine world of magic and intrigue with only her wits, five spells, and her favorite lipstick to help her. After a lifetime denying her connection to witchcraft, will Gosha learn to trust her mother's training in time to save her friend? Waking the Witch is the first installment in The Witch of Cheyne Heath supernatural mystery series from author W. V. Fitz-Simon. If you like Absolutely Fabulous, Terry Pratchett's Witches of Lancre, and complex mother-daughter relationships, you'll love this arch and cozy spellpunk adventure. Buy Waking the Witch and step into the glamorous, enigmatic, dangerous world of Cheyne Heath today!


This Quest is Bullshit! by JP Valentine

The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection. Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the Legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread. Wouldn’t that be ridiculous? Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level 1 Messenger Girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as Legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that gods-damned bread. There just might be a few Side Quests along the way. |This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.|


A Cat's Guide to Bonding with Dragons by Chris Behrsin

The unlikely duo who might just save the world Ben must be the hungriest cat ever… One moment, he was enjoying a breakfast of salmon trimmings in his home in South Wales. The next, he was teleported across time and space onto the cold stone floor of an evil warlock. Locked in the warlock’s tower through day and night, Ben may have to serve him for a while. He'll hate this, especially having to hunt those infernal demon rats when the warlock doesn’t feed him well at all. Meanwhile, in a distant academy, a dragon is bored out of her mind. Unable to wear a saddle, no human dares mount her. Is there anyone in this land who can ride her into battle against the forces of the evil warlocks? Somehow, she doubts she’ll ever find a suitable bond. Unless there is another creature with enough dexterity to fulfil that role. One, perhaps, who is currently sprinting right out of a warlock’s front door…


The Conjuring of Zoth Averex by K.R.R. Lockhaven

Kept hidden by the United States government for decades, the Site is a place where magic is real. But that doesn't mean that everything happening there is sparkly. Soul-sucking policies and layers of stifling bureaucracy threaten to take all the fun out of magic. Harris, a newbie Conjurer, starts his first day of work at the Site bursting with excitement: he's been brought on for an extremely big project happening the very next day. In a triumph over its habitual inefficiency, the Site manages to carry out its plan and conjure an actual dragon to be used by the military. The dragon (Zoth-Avarex, the self-proclaimed greatest dragon in the multiverse) immediately eats the person next to him, snatches a "princess" from the ranks of the Conjuring Department, and flies away to the Space Needle. There he manipulates the media, outwits the Site's bumbling management, demands sixty-three billion dollars' worth of treasure (because Smaug was said to have had sixty-two billion in his hoard), threatens to destroy the city--and installs a couple of food trucks. While this book skewers the same fantasy genre it gleefully inhabits, it also pokes fun at corporate culture, today's obsession with wealth and celebrity, and our denial that life is anything more than meets the eye. Hapless Harris, believing in magic all along, learns to apply what he's picked up between the pages of fantasy literature.


This Merry Hell by Edward Hargreaves

This comedy adventure tells of a man who finds himself unexpectedly lifeless and arguing with his killer. Rather suddenly locked in a barren underworld, confused and confronted by his new surroundings, Jason goes in search of answers. Without the constraints of society, or a body, he finds himself freshly motivated. Their living hell has given him a confidence stolen in life and drives a need to learn why he was condemned. Regardless of all the adventure, sin and consequence, Jason forever upholds his sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to death, torment and the afterlife. In a space beyond time, where every soul is forced to face themselves and their blunt existence, craving purpose, love and companionship, Jason and his guide explore their very own empty otherworld seeking some escape from their inevitable journey. In this dark realm Jason gathers a motley crew to explore, to live and to meet fate head-on. Throughout their grand tour of the sights and sounds of the netherworld, Jason’s dialogue driven approach to the souls around him finds psychopaths and saints alike. Ultimately, the trek through this hell sees friend and foe flock in a search for meaning, power and the devil himself. This Merry Hell is a book with some hellarious consequences and its own literal plot hole. It is fun, frivolous and philosophic in equal measure!


The Great MacGuffin by Rachel Ford

A fully immersive virtual reality system. A beta testing opportunity that’s the stuff of dreams – or a nightmare that may never end. Jack Owens has logged tens of thousands of hours on Marshfield Studio games. So he’s not surprised when the company hires him to be one of their first beta testers for the newly developed Dagger of Doom series. Jack doesn’t think twice when the techs strap him into a VR apparatus and transfer his consciousness to the new world. He’s got a return switch. He can come back any time. Except, he can’t. A bug in the software has trapped him. And the only way out is to finish the game. Step one? Find the great MacGuffin. Step two? Get the h*ll out of here.


Unstoppable Shadow by Alex Mead

Friendless orphan from the slums of Talon, Scab is no ordinary boy. So everyone keeps telling him. He’s pretty sure ‘the Slow’ doesn’t happen to anyone else, but he daren’t ask, in fear of the next beating. Taken from the city, Scab finds himself closer than ever to having a bed of his own, but it comes at a price. A painful one. Veteran assassin, Silas is ready for a normal life with a family. Something the Shadows would never allow. Not helping matters, the strange, grey-eyed boy from the slums gives him glimpses of how life might be with a son. Offering Scab the opportunity to follow the same violent path as his own, Silas finds himself bound tighter to the Shadows. With his future entwined with the boy’s, he’s beginning to wonder if death may be the only way out.


War God Rising by Tim Marquitz

Monty Python meets Gladiator! Sand is destined for greatness. Or so a pair of two-bit criminals would have him believe. After rescuing him from certain doom, Bess and Kaede embark on a scheme to game the War God Tournament. It’d be easier if Sand wasn’t an alcohol-soaked twit with a disturbing interest in mutton. Pitted against monsters, magic swords, and murderers galore, they soon realize winning the tourney is the least of their worries.


A Handful of Souls by Stephen Rice

Book One from The Split Sea Mud, gold and lies. That’s all you get in Branera. You’ll find no better expert on these things than Lily Kale-Tollworth. Yet she has no clue of the events already in motion around her. WEEKS AGO, a murderer with a bleeding grin was released from the Mountain Head. Lily doesn’t know this pale-skinned giant has been writing to her. She doesn’t even know he’s coming to find her. But as her father, Husker Tollworth feels like it’s his right. DAYS AGO, a tax patrol was slaughtered. Lily doesn’t know her brother’s corpse was pulled from a ditch, stolen by a man who can raise the dead. Lark Kale-Tollworth will follow this bizarre scholar to the Southlands. He will forget how many times he’s died. HOURS AGO, an informant showed Lily’s stepfather an incriminating note. Branera has taxed its villages too hard. An uprising is massing in the Northlands – and they have a noose with Josef Kale’s name on it. At this very moment, Josef is frantically packing their coach, while Lily is drinking whisky in a brothel. She’s met the arrogant idiot who will be their guide south. She doesn’t know he has a hollow soul, filled with thousands of spirits. She doesn’t know his mouth is filled with as many lies. But if there are three things Lily’s good at, it’s mud, gold and lies. ~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~ Bringing a bright, messy twist to the gritty fantasy genre, fans of Scott Lynch and Terry Pratchett will feel right at home with A HANDFUL OF SOULS, the first of the Split Sea Novels.


Double-Crossing the Bridge by Sarah J Sover

“Sover’s ability to gross out readers is nothing short of gleeful…Comedy-fantasy fans with strong stomachs will enjoy this book.” – Kirkus Reviews Rent in New Metta is through the cavern ceiling. When Granu barely survives her first gig teaching students who attempt to fillet her for lunch, the baby-eating troll ends up unemployed and facing eviction. Granu's only prospect for income is grueling work in the tar pits. That is, until her playboy best friend devises a perfect, if suicidal, scheme—a heist! The Covered Bridge, the largest source of income for the city, has New Metta well under hoof. In a week, TCB Corporation pulls in enough cash to buy a small country. It's the ideal target, but security is top-notch. Granu needs three things to survive this heist: a crew of specialists, impenetrable sun protection, and gallons of grog. There’s just one thing Granu doesn’t plan for—those damn meddling billy goats.


Damned Souls and a Sangria (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 8) by Annette Marie

Once upon a time, I was your average spunky redhead with the lamest employment history ever, a shaky relationship with my only family member, and no idea what I was doing with my life. Now, I'm a pseudo mythic with the best bartending job in the world, the most amazing (and hot) best friends I never knew I needed, and a guild of misfit magic-users who've become my extended family. And I'm about to lose it all. In my desperation to save Ezra, I stumbled into a web of ruthless deception--and seriously pissed off a sleeping hydra. Now its every murderous head is turned toward me and my guild, and I don't know how to stop it. I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure anyone can. But if I don't, we're all doomed--Ezra, Aaron, Kai, and my beloved guild.


Lost Talismans and a Tequila (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 7) by Annette Marie

You know that squirmy sensation in your gut when you have no idea what you're doing and you're about to screw everything up? Yeah, that feeling. I thought I was a good judge of character, but recent events proved me very wrong. Now, in a brilliant demonstration of my newfound caution, I'm putting all my faith in a demon—a demon who's tried to kill me before. The squirmy feeling is making sense, right? Unfortunately, I don't have any other options. Ezra's time is almost up, which means I need answers and I need them fast. So it's time to toughen up, pack my gear, and find me one of the most illegal, reviled, and scarce mythics out there: a demon-mage summoner. And all I have to do is follow a demon's instructions on where to look. How could that go wrong?


Druid Vices and a Vodka (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 6) by Annette Marie

I've said it before, but sometimes I'm a bad person. I cheated on my twelfth grade math final, I've run countless yellow lights, and I gossip about how hot my kickass best friends are. (Good thing my job as a guild bartender doesn't require moral perfection.) But there's bad, and then there's bad. And I'm not sure which applies to a certain dark druid/wanted criminal/reluctant friend of mine. His transgressions include black-magic dealings, kidnapping, and murder, and he's about to add "revenge-fueled killing spree" to his resume—if I don't stop him. Should I stop him? He and his nemesis are gearing up to tear each other apart, rogues and vultures are converging with their sights on the spoils, and the guilds that would normally stomp them into the ground are under attack. We're on the verge of an all-out criminal turf war, and my time to decide is almost up. Who's the real bad guy ... and do I dare stand in his way?


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