Search results for “J.P. Valentine”:

The Nothing Mage

The Nothing Mage by J.P. Valentine


Beware, oh friend, the Nothing Mage, The man himself a blight, With magic cursed and spells unseen, That none can stand and fight. Beware, oh King, the Nothing Mage, A force that pierces all, The tolling bell that sings of death, ‘Till lords and empires fall. Beware, oh love, the Nothing Mage, A vengeful man is he, So if you dare to draw his wrath, Then nothing ye shall be. "There’s nothing there." The words may as well have been a death sentence to young Declan. Without mana, there could be no studying at the sky-piercing Pinnacle Towers, there could be no great monster hunts, and there could be no following in his father’s legendary footsteps. He’d be a cripple. But when a terrible accident forces him to flee, Declan learns the true nature of his mana. Just because it doesn’t resonate at any known frequency, doesn’t mean it isn’t magic. Just because he can’t cast the same spells as everyone else doesn’t mean he isn’t a mage. And just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

To Flail Against Infinity (The Stargazer's War #1)

To Flail Against Infinity (The Stargazer's War #1) by J.P. Valentine

SPSFC 2023

Infinite power, infinite danger. Growing up mortal, I only knew a few things about cultivators. They like their hierarchies, they hate disrespect, and if you leave one out in deep space long enough, they'll go homicidally insane. It turns out, there's a reason for that. Away from all the gravity wells and biospheres that generate natural energy, things get just quiet enough to notice the infinite ocean of qi entirely incompatible with our own. I should know. I've seen it. Only difference is, I didn't go mad. I wasn't a cultivator. Technically, I wasn't even alive. But now I can sense it. I can touch it. I can cultivate it. From the bestselling author of This Trilogy is Broken! and Dungeon Devotee comes the cultivation epic you've been waiting for.

This Quest is Bullshit!

This Quest is Bullshit! by JP Valentine


The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection. Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the Legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread. Wouldn’t that be ridiculous? Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level 1 Messenger Girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as Legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that gods-damned bread. There just might be a few Side Quests along the way. |This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.|

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