A Certain Kind of Sadness by Jillean McClory

Insecurity and loneliness eat away at Rachel Wharton as old debts and obligations compel her to accept a job in another city, leaving behind family and friends. But leaving Morgan Hillier, the man she has loved since childhood, at a critical time in their fragile relationship breeds a toxic mix of self-doubt and anxiety. Now Rachel finds herself stuck in a dingy three-story walk-up. Her demons and countless falls from grace crowd her tiny apartment. Questions she has avoided for years demand her attention: how did she get here? Why did she let this happen? Her regrets challenge her to take off her blinders and see what’s in her peripheral vision, forcing her to examine her perceptions of love, family, bravery, and her ability to captain her life. Always the victim of circumstance – from her privileged upbringing, her unrequited love for Morgan, to being stalked by a man in the shadows – Rachel struggles to accept her new life. Without a net to catch her when she stumbles, she regrets her decision to take a job that anchors her to a mistake she can’t undo. It’s exhausting navigating the distance between her and Morgan, but her mother’s disapproval makes it problematic, putting further strain on their already complicated relationship. To make matters worse, with each day that passes, Rachel becomes a version of herself she hates – a poor slob in love.